Leon May Cry
by Doomychan
Summary: What happens when a certain DemonSlayer from Hell ends up in an entirely new Hell of RE4? And what's this? Zombies? Puhlease, that's got to be the least of their worries! [DanteLeon] Anal,Angst,AUAR,BDSM,Crossover,MM,NC,WAFF
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Devil May Cry or Resident Evil. I don't own the two sexy Capcom Boys Dante and Leon (Though I wish I did cause that would so totally rock!!)

**Introduction--** PLEASE READ FIRST!!! Alright, this story is a little AU, kinda but not really. For example, Dante being thrown into the world of Resident Evil. I guess that's considered a cross-over, but still! This story will contain some yaoi … so if it offends you, please do not read. Simple as that. I rarely see any fics of Dante/Leon and if there are any, SEND ME SOME (Fanart as well! Heee!) This is my first time writing fanfiction, so I hope it comes out okay! There will be some humor, action, violence, angst (gasp) and HOPEFULLY some romance. I'll think of something, eheheh. So I hope you enjoy! And please drop a review my way when you get a chance! I really want to know what you guys think! I'm new here, so please be niiiiiiiice! I'm not the best writer in the world so critiques are welcomed, but please, no flaming, okie dokie? Okay, I'll stop writing meaningless things right now. xD;;

P.S. – I'll explain the title in Chapter Two. Well, that's IF this fic reaches chapter two. REVIEW PEOPLES! Cause that'll motivate me to make more. ;;

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** .::. Leon May Cry .::.**

**Chapter 1: A Dull Party**

_Boy isn't this just my luck?_

_ Here I am on this deserted island; no booze, no babes and hardly a place to throw a party …_

With a sigh, a young man sits up after taking what seemed like a nap. He stands up reloading his gun and makes his way outside the small back room into an empty village. It was so quiet … and so BORING! Why the hell is he still here?! And how the _HELL_ did he get here?

Before he woke up, all he could remember was him sitting down at his office in his comfortable chair, waiting anxiously for the pizza boy to come over with his goddamn pizza that he ordered. He remembered waiting longer than usual and actually getting fed up and thinking many negative thoughts of adding the pizza boy to his collections of heads. Not just any collection of heads, but heads from his hunts of demons.

He is a devil-slayer afterall, which is pretty ironic because he's half-devil himself! And he was so good at his hobby of slaying demons, he opened a shop in which serves to eliminate those vile creatures that have illegally ventured out of Hell and into the human world. He loved his job because of the fun of killing things, meeting babes and of course, getting paid a large amount of money. He does it all for the money.

A mess of what seems like a putrid green slime appeared on the floor. The devil-slayer bent down to observe the mess. _What the hell was this?_ Hey, he was the master at identifying every kind of monsters and demons, but this is different. He's going to take an educated guess and say that this blood wasn't human. There, problem solved, now isn't he proud about his little theory?

Suddenly, a sound of what seems like bullets flying was heard and this immediately got the demon-slayer's attention. Wow, there was actually someone here?! And judging by the moans and groans and the sound of even more bullets flying he could tell that there were a lot of enemies around. _About damn time, too!_ The demon-slayer couldn't wait to get a bit of action around here!

"Yo! Save some baddies for me!" He yells, rushing over to the scene, only to find a couple of villagers.

"Okay, would you people kindly point to me where the nearest devil is?" He asked, puzzled as to why the villagers looked sickly and wreaked the stench of death. Maybe they hadn't taken a bath for a few months? Do they even have a bathroom in this stupid village? He was greeted with an axe being thrown at him.

"Woah!" He dodges and glares at the woman villager responsible for it.

"Hey! I meant devils other than me!" Another axe was thrown.

"BITCH! If you don't stop throwing that shit at me, I'll—" A bullet goes through the woman's head and the young demon-slayer stares a bit dumb-founded. Did he do that? I mean, he was imagining how amusing it would be if her head exploded, but he didn't actually mean it! Shit! Since when did he acquire the power of head-explodey?!

The head grew back into what seemed like tentacles. "Okay, now this is just fucked up."

He was so distracted by this that he didn't realize how close the villagers started to surround him until he turned around only to bump into one. The man he bumped into immediately grabbed for him, trying to bite at his neck, if it weren't for the fact that his head was blown up as well.

"Okay, who the FUCK is doing that?!" His question had been answered when a running figure managed to grab a hold of the confused man's hand, shooting everyone that got in their way. _So, he's the guy shooting the shit out of these freaky villagers … not bad._

The two end up running to a safe point inside a small two-story house. The other man had started to bar up the house and pushing furniture over the door and the windows. The demon-slayer did the same upstairs, collecting the shotgun and handing it to the light brown-haired man. It's not like this demon-slayer needed it.

"So, I'm guessing you're my back-up." He says, reloading his own gun and taking the shotgun that has been offered. "What's your name?" He asks, eyeing the strange man before him. He was tall, taller than himself with silver hair and wearing a blood red coat; _He's a pretty suspicious character if you ask me._

"Dante." The demon-slayer answered. Dante? He doesn't know anyone named Dante, let alone a man with silver hair, what's up with that?

"I'm Leon." He says, growling a bit as he heard the villagers banging against the doors and windows violently. It was natural to explain what the hell was going on to calm the confused man down. He explains that he was on a mission to save the president's daughter and that he suspects that there is a conspiracy going on with turning everyone around the world to become mindless zombies.

"Zombies?" Dante questions and before they knew it, the furniture falls apart due to massive damage from a man—scratch that, an undead wielding a chainsaw. Oh, just great. Leon rushes upstairs only to find that they've broken through; shit… Bullets fly from Leon's gun once again and Dante watches as the human dodges attacks and bash some heads off with a powerful kick. Hey, he's pretty impressed with the human's strength. Leon screams and warns Dante of the chainsaw wielding zombie.

"Puh-lease." Dante says, rolling his eyes. "These what you've been running from?!" He starts laughing and poor Leon starts to think that his new partner was losing it.

The undead appear to only move closer to Dante who sits at the bottom of the stairs fixing his boots. He doesn't see what Leon is freaking out about. They're just the undead; they are slow-moving, unintelligent, unable to think for themselves and are fragile against the blow of his sword.

"I dunno about you, Leon, but this party is getting a little dull. Mind if I liven things up a bit?" The demon says, grinning and taking Leon's silence as a 'yes'. "Alrighty then. Let's get this show on the road." The demon-slayer grins, standing up, his enchanted guns ebony and ivory in his grasp, pointing at big Ben over there with the chainsaw.

"Say good night."

Bang.

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**A/N:** So how do you guys like it so far? I hope it came out alright. 

This is only the first chapter and it's really short. I've written about five chapters so far and the next chapter will have a bit of smut in it. ++

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW !! **

They help motivate me to submit more.


	2. Chapter 2

((Geez, sucha perverted title...))

** Chapter 2: One Eyed-Jack**

The two enchanted guns Ebony and Ivory fire at the undead with the chainsaw…_A chainsaw? What is this? The fuggin' Texas Chainsaw Massacre_?

Geeez … Considering that it is a disgusting village inhabited with an assload of cannibalistic goons, in an abandoned town it might as well be. Dante fires his guns and just as quickly as he had drawn it, Dr. Salvador fell over, what seems like a heap load of bullets covered all over his body.

DAMNIT DANTE, HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED ANY ZOMBIE MOVIES? You gotta aim for their head there, buddy. But hey, we'll leave him alone, he's trying to show off here. So down big Ben goes, convulsing on the floor a bit from the magic of Dante's bullets and then dying, vanishing into a nasty green slime.

Honestly, why green slime?

Anyway, the other goons surrounding Dante didn't seem a bit phased about what had just happen to the better of them. Then again, they are mindless creatures afterall, there's no room in their heads to think for themselves and only serve one purpose and that purpose is to stab things.

Well, okay not these zombies; their purpose so far is to stab any intruder with sharp pointy objects, like pitchforks and other farm equipments. FARMERS? Dante's adversaries are farmers … not soldiers from the pits of Hell, no, he's facing against fuggin' FAMERS, man!

Farmers who look TOTALLY human, if not for the fact that they are pale and smell like road kill and are infected and being controlled by the Las Plagas. Well, seeing that it's no fun using his gun all the time like pretty boy Leon over there, Dante has decided to get CREATIVE. Ya know, using his sword to slash at the nearest ganado, using awesome ass-kicking combos on their asses and even combining them with an insane speed of shooting from his two lovely guns.

Now c'mon, Dante can take on DOZENS of demons from Hell at the same time with no problem, a dozen of cannibalistic goons were of no comparison, hell, they were so fragile that I bet Dante could pick one up and tear them in half just like paper! Hell, one swing of his sword could cut through metal, flesh and bones.

But like I said, he's only showing off right now to look good in front of the human there, who was watching, his eyes focused on Dante. Yeah, that's what he wanted, an audience, a witness to show how skilled he is, and even though it's only one person witnessing this he didn't mind; one sexy person was enough.

Especially if that one person was a sexy cop like Leon! Was Leon even a cop? Well, he used to be a rookie cop in Raccoon city but after experiencing crazy shit with Umbrella Corps's zombies and being one of the very last few survivors he soon joined with an Anti-Umbrella task force with the other surviving S.T.A.R.S members where they soon ended Umbrella Corporation for good. He later joined many agencies and is now a sexy government agent who proves to be more useful and have more experience than he did when he was a rookie cop.

D-Did I mention he was sexy already? But enough about that.

A minute later, after Dante's little hacking and slashing frenzy was over, there were no more of the undead in sight and everything seems to be clear of any danger. Wow, your new back-up sure knows how to throw them back, Leon!

"Now how's that for getting rid of all unwanted guests?" Dante chuckles as he makes his way up the stairs to face the smaller blonde man. Leon sure was a pretty little thing …

A gun was suddenly pointed at Dante's head and the demon-slayer raises a brow at the now angered young man.

_What the heck?_ And just a minute ago he was staring at Dante kicking ass with his eyes lighting up so excitedly too! He could have sworn he was checking Dante out while he was at it, or maybe that's all in Dante's imagination? Eh, no, not really. The agent DID watch; astonished as Dante's inhuman strength over empowered a whole group of Los Ganados (from Spanish which is the literal plural of The cattle or The Livestock) with little to no problem. Hey, Leon was good, but he wasn't THAT good and he couldn't help but become a bit suspicious about his new 'back-up'.

Not only that, but Dante's cocky attitude was pissing him off just a little bit. Just a TAD bit; okay I lie it was pissing him off greatly, which explains the gun aimed expertly at the too-good-to-be-human-cocky-ass-bastard named Dante over here. Yeah, if Dante were back-up, the agency would have told him, or at least would have WARNED him of not only Dante's attitude but also his fashion sense. Hey, long coats look awesome in movies, cartoons, video games, etc, but if you were to see someone with them on in real life, they'd look a bit dorky.

An exception of course, would be if the person was uber hot, which Leon had to admit Dante had a good body, but with that attitude, the attraction is little to none. Damnit Leon, you're too picky.

"Who are you _really?_" Leon growls, knowing for sure that the agency would NEVER hire such a dumbass as Dante; who is now batting the gun away from his head and onto the floor.

Bad move.

Cause Leon takes this as his cue to attack Dante with his handy-dandy knife! In which Dante easily takes a step to the side, quickly wrapping one arm around Leon's neck and taking the human's knife away, placing it near Leon's neck to keep him still. Leon's fists start to curl but did nothing to provoke the demon-slayer from cutting his throat open. Okay maybe struggle just a bit but to no avail; Dante was too strong.

"Why is it that every time I help someone, they always try to kill me?" Dante asks a bit annoyed, more to himself than to Leon.

Dante sighs, shaking his head referring to every babe he had ever aided during his life. Like Trish and Lady for example, two women who tried to kill him multiple times when all he really wanted to do was help them. Ya know, act like a fucking GENTLEMAN to them but I guess he's just prone to being shot at or nearly killed by women or something. He did afterall admit that he had rotten luck with women maybe it's about time he crossed over to the other side?

Hey, with Leon's body facing forward and his back practically pressed against the demon-slayer's front, it's kind of hard to think with so much FRICTION being caused by Leon struggling so damned much! Stop struggling so much, Leon, yer gonna make Dante have a hard-on and you'll notice it once it starts to pop up and say 'hello' to your ass! Then again, keep struggling, we like that kind of thing.

The demon-slayer notices that in this position, he could easily take advantage of the smaller human …

But Dante isn't that cruel. He's a gentleman of course and would never do such a thing as raping a person, let alone a man. By tying them up and teaching their ass to obey him and only him and going all BDSM on them and then fucking their brains out until they scream and moan his name.

NAH, Dante isn't that kind of person! Of course not! He would NEVER dream of doing that. Even to a person who was threatening to SHOOT the demon-slayer's brains out and probably with enough bullets to his head, ultimately kill Dante! You know what, Leon? You may not be a woman, but you sure are acting like the ones he's encountered in the past!

"I saved your life, didn't I? You should give me some credit, pretty boy." Dante says, smiling mischievously. Leon's struggling ceases to a stop as he accepts the fact that this idiot isn't planning to let him go any sooner … That still doesn't change the fact that Leon won't give up without a fight.

"Not like I needed your help." The human grumbles; which is true since Leon was perfectly fine by himself without the help of any demon-slayer. "…Fucking show-off." Oh, that sure hit a nerve on Dante cause his guard was let down enough to let Leon slip away from the taller man's grasp. GO LEON, GO!

"Um, excuse me for the language, but what the FUCK is your problem?!" Dante growls.

Honestly! The NERVE of this fucking Human! And to think that Dante found him a bit attractive too in that tight black shirt of his and that ass that seem to rub up against him while he was still struggling against Dante oh and lastly those HIPS that rolled when Leon was pushing furniture. Seriously, take a look at his hips the next time you make him push something. You'll be astonished.

"Do you have any idea who I am?!" Dante yells, to which Leon rolls his eyes. Psh, of course he doesn't know who you are or why you are here or anything about you, Dante because he obviously doesn't seem to care.

"I am the son of Sparda!" Leon raises a brow. "The son of the Legendary Dark Knight?" Leon doesn't have a clue. "The most terrified devil of all time?" Okay Dante you better stop before he laughs at you.

Luckily for Dante, a transmission from the walkie-talkie the agent wore around his belt interrupted Leon from humiliating Dante with his cold words; Damnit.

Well, as Leon talks with what seems like a female on the walkie-talkie, Dante's going to find a bathroom. Nature calls afterall and what sucks about it is that he couldn't find a goddamn bathroom anywhere. Well, there's nothing wrong with going on the side of the building right? So that's what he's doing right now, and with his superior senses and ass-kicking moves, there's no way a creature as clumsy as a ganado would sneak up on him and leave with their bodies still intact.

Dante's only violent because he's sexually frustrated is all, there's nothing to worry about, his mentality is healthy it's only normal for a demon to want to cut the living shit out of people and watch the blood drip down to the floor.

Okay, maybe not the floor, but on Leon instead. Yeah, Leon, that's right…

Naked and drenched in gore, crawling on all fours in that mess begging for Dante to 'claim' him and looking so cute as he blushes, his eyes half-lidded and just giving him the sexiest look the human can possibly give his demonic lover. The human then unzipping the demon's pants; not wasting any time engulfing as much of Dante as his mouth could fit. Sucking, licking, and lightly biting expertly causing Leon to send a vibration of whimpering moans whenever Dante would groan in appreciation. Leon bobbing his head up and down, the pace increasing as each growl of pleasure would escape from the demon's throat, his mind feeling dizzy at just how fucking good Leon's warm, wet mouth felt against his throbbing —

"I guess that explains why your ego is so big." Leon says, observing the large 'One-Eyed-Jack' that Dante now seems to cover.

Wait, how come Dante hadn't sense Leon sneaking up on him?! Oh well, that's because the demon's mind was in the fucking clouds the whole time that he was in too much of his blood-lusting world to even take notice of the smaller man. Dante curses to himself and Leon leans against the wall, having his own little victory here of catching Dante in his most embarrassing state that seemed to have humiliated the demon a great deal; Life is good once again. Though somewhere in the back of his mind, Leon was impressed at Dante's little soldier there, okay 'little' doesn't quite justify the size of Dante, he was WAY beyond that size.

But no matter, because the human doesn't want to waste anymore precious time. He explains to Dante that a small chopper will come to pick them up and that they will return back to civilization as soon as they rescue Ashley and meet at the rendezvous point. Which is good! As soon as they find her, they'll be able to leave this god forsaken island! Precious time are wasting you say?! Well, let's get going then, huh? Cause Dante wants off this island already! Look at how pumped and excited he is!

"Your pants are still down." Leon says bluntly. Oh sure, leave it to Leon to point out the OBVIOUS. _Geez, what a bitch!_

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**A/N:** Doomy here! Thank you everyone for all yer lovely comments. Every five new comments I will make a new chapter. xD;; 

But yey! Second chapter, yo! Leon really hates Dante's guts, man. But he'll eventually warm up to the ego-maniac, soon. Hopefully.

Yeah, they are a bit out of character, especially Dante, so don't kill meeeee..!

I'm trying to aim for humor here. w;;

**Anyway, Review as always! **

All comments are appreciated! Good or Bad. :3


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3: Separate Ways **

The village, in which Dante found himself wake up in was once again… silent. There are still no booze, no babes and is certainly not the proper place to throw a party, but it wasn't boring. Especially being in the company of someone like Leon, how can someone possibly be bored with having to follow someone whose _ass_ sways oh so deliciously?!

If you haven't noticed, you never really get to see Leon's face throughout the game in RE4, because 90 of the game play has you focusing on that _ASS _ of his. So it takes little in thought of what Dante is looking at and extremely enjoying right now.

Now how is it possible to be bored of _THAT _

But enough about that, because the two have entered the barnyard where a few farmers were well, basically farming. Again, fighting farmers was just unfair to Dante because, c'mon! Farmers have it tough okay? It's hard enough for them to survive by growing enough crops for market, only selling less than half because they needed to keep the crops for food and because it was infested and damaged by insects. Farmers got it _TOUGH _ okay?

And as if they have enough problems, they have to go against a demon-slayer and special agent 'buns' here! You can't help but feel sorry for these people! Then again, they did throw shit at the two and tried to kill them, so all sympathies for these 'farmers' are gone. Leon says they're not even human so that's a good enough excuse to rid this island of 'friendly' human faces.

It's a good thing all these Ganados are unattractive and not human, because I don't think Dante has the heart to kill pretty humans. Well, unless they were asking for it, but Dante just like his father Sparda, has love for all humanity.

A humanity that seems to now smack him right upside the head!

"What was that for?!" Dante screams, only to be encountered with a hand to cover his mouth.

"Shh!" Leon says, using his other hand to point a finger to his mouth as a gesture to shut the fuck up and be quiet. "I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes, but it seems your head was still up in the clouds." Leon whispers in which Dante wasn't listening again cause he's more focused on how _INCREDIBLY SOFT _ Leon's hands were! Okay, be a good boy and pay attention Dante before Leon smacks you upside the head again.

Pointing at the barnyard, Leon explains that there were enemies up ahead and that they should sneak quietly since he was running out of bullets. Um hello, Leon? You have Dante here to rid these goons for you! But hey, quiet as a mouse is what you want then quiet as a mouse he'll be!

Dante suddenly sneezes.

This of course, attracts the attention from the Ganados and Leon is giving Dante another threatening look that seems to indicate that his life will be over in a matter of seconds. HELL right now since his hands are kind of wrapped around Dante's head as if he were about to _TWIST _ it.

Dante of course, takes this gesture the wrong way and Leon's soft hands were touching him again as if he was caressing his face! Oh yeah, that sure has this demon-slayer motivated to—An axe fly right past the two and Leon's hands were off of Dante and holding onto his handgun, aiming carefully but remembering that he has to save his bullets! Shit!

But that's okay Leon, even though when I played the game, I made you run like a pansy avoiding zombies after zombies to preserve your bullets and not get hurt, you don't need to do that anymore. Okay I lie, after five minutes of running I've decided to kick some ass and it's hella fun. I get sadistic! I LOVE to wait for them to climb up the ladder so I can shoot them down and hear them scream. Tis fun.

Well, anyway, Dante, being the only person who doesn't really need to depend on guns, gets his ass in gear! Okay, not really, he's half-assedly shooting them down one by one, with Leon walking around and collecting items as well as the 'Pearl Pendant' hanging above the well. They're like, walking around shooting people as if it was normal!

"So, how did you end up in this place anyway?" Leon asks just to start a conversation while ignoring the agonizing screams of the infected being blasted. Hey, Dante's doing a good job being his slave and killing everything for him. The demon-slayer answers with a shrug and before they know it, all the villagers have been eliminated; Awesome.

Leon looks at Dante trying to get a view on his perspective of things so far, because the poor guy woke up in this Hell and had no idea of what was happening, so of course the agent had to feel some sympathy for the demon. Yeah, for like three seconds then he was back to being an ass and started to criticize Dante as they made their way through a long narrow path, unaware at first of how intelligent the undead citizens were as they pushed a big ass boulder down the cliff.

And now triggers that scene where you hafta run yer ass like crazy! Hey, Leon was wasting no time in doing so while Dante just kinda gets distracted by his ass again. Yeah, he knew there was a boulder, but so what? C'mon a puny little boulder wasn't gonna – okay, it's getting pretty big up close … wow. But that's okay! Cause Dante is almighty! _HE'S ALMIGHTY, BABY. _All he needs to do is bust out his fiery gauntlet, Ifrit and kick that boulder to the moon and back again!

Hm, strange… he doesn't have his lovely Ifrit with him, he just has his guns Ebony, Ivory and his good ol' sword Alastor. And when that sword impaled him and Dante had to _THRUST _ his hips upward to get out, I could tell it made a lot of people happy. Did that scene make you happy? I certainly knew it made _ME _ happy! But moving right along now.

"I'm afraid you can't use your brawns this time! Start running idiot!" Leon yells, not believing how any person can be this dimwitted! Seriously! Just because you're not human, Dante, doesn't mean that you should act so carelessly! Actually, Leon was sort of musing of how funny it would be if Dante was squished flat by the boulder. He's such a morbid baby at times. Shit, the boulder was coming closer than Leon had predicted and Leon had to think of something _fast._

Ah, what to do, what to do, what to … do? He suddenly found himself hurled onto the floor, seeing nothing but dirt and rocks on the floor. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, did he get ran over? Is he dead? Why can't he lift his legs? Is it because it's broken? And who's touching his ass?

Hm, well, whaddya know? Leon is spread all over Dante right about now. Well, let's register what happened eh? While Leon was bitching and moaning of what he was going to do to get out of the boulder's path, Dante thought of the plan first! H_AH SHOWS WHO'S SMARTER, EH. BITCH!?_ The demon grabbed Leon and dived out of the boulders way as he cradles Leon close to him so the human wouldn't get hurt.

Yeah, Dante felt most of the impact, but he's a big boy and besides he's more concerned about Leon's safety than his own. Humans are such fragile creatures afterall. And Leon by far is the sexiest.

"You okay?" Dante asks looking up. Leon nods his head a slight confused-look on his expression. Wow, now why didn't he think of diving outta the way any sooner? Well, that was cause he was panicking. Hey, it's not everyday you come across something that reminds you a lot of Indiana fucking Jones okay? Fucking boulders …

As the devil looked up at Leon's face, he notices his attractive features and how it would be such a shame for such beautiful skin to be eaten up by the road. It's a good thing you've taken the impact, eh Dante? Well, the demon-slayer reaches a hand up to stroke Leon's pretty face with his fingers.

_ SOOOOOOOFT. _ Surprisingly enough, Leon doesn't bat the devil's hand away or even give him a look of disgust like he normally does or _anything! _

The perfect human leans into the caress, his eyes half-lidded and revealing a small rare smile graced his face. But moments like these are non-existent in survival-horror games apparently since those fucking Ganados decided to ruin a fucking _moment _that Leon and Dante are trying to _fucking _ share!

_** BASTARDS. **_

With an annoyed sigh, Dante lifts up his gun and once again, half-assedly shoots the shit out of the enemy. Why? Why do you undead enjoy ruining Dante's fun? Can't you see he's trying to make a move on Leon?! Who now seems to have gotten off of Dante and brushing himself free from all the dirt and dust. G'damnit all…

"C'mon, we can't waste any time. We have to find Ashley." Leon says after walking through a tunnel only to come across two undead occupying a small house and throwing shit at them. Dynamites eh? KA-BOOM. Oh this is just fucking great, it never ends does it? Separating for a bit to kick some lily ass, Dante took on the Ganados inside the small house while Leon took care of those outside. Easy as fucking pie.

Three kicks to a locked door and Leon was inside, calling Dante to follow him as they made their way inside the house. Oh, this house is fuggin' booby-trapped too? Leon stands at a distance as he shot his gun in the long narrow hallway, satisfied that he disarmed the explosive and the following explosive right after.

A sound of what seems like pounding was heard and the two find that they are not alone…

A shelf seemed to have covered the north wall, so Leon pushes it out of the way only to reveal a door to another room, the pounding becoming louder. The pair walk over to the closet, exchanging looks that whatever is in the closet, be it a zombie or a fuggin' cat like in all those horror movies, they were gonna shoot the shit out of it.

But to their darn dismay, it wasn't an enemy that fell out, no, it was a body of what seemed to be a young man with dark hair, tied up in ropes, his mouth covered in tape.

_ KINKY _was the word that popped up in Dante's head just now.

Hey, who knew the undead were into these kinds of things? And being the oh so cautious bastard Leon is, he points the gun at the Spaniard to test his reaction but we all know he's getting some kind of perverted kick out of it especially from how frightened the figure looked. Yer a damn sadist and you know it, Leon! The tape is immediately ripped out of the Spaniard's mouth who kind of hisses in pain at the rough treatment he was getting.

"A little rough don't 'cha think?" The dark-haired man said in a heavy accent which Leon responds by roughly turning him over to cut away the ropes that were tied around his wrists. "You're … not like them?" He asks, and Leon and Dante answer him with a no. "Okay, I've got one very important question: You got a smoke?"

"No. I've got gum." Leon replies, in which Dante looks at him funny. Who the fuck carries gum? What are you? Four? Two Ganados appear a second after along with someone whom the Spaniard referred to as 'the big cheese'. DAMNIT DANTE, YER SUPPOSED TO KEEP WATCH. The agent runs over to so-called 'Big Cheese' and sends a high kick to the man's face, only to have it grabbed successfully and flipping the human onto the dark-haired man and crashing to the floor painfully.

OH. HELL. NO.

Oh hell no you didn't just do that in front of Dante! Leon is his object of affection at the moment and you've just basically whooped his ass! Lookit that, Dante is PISSED off. Oh, he'll show you a thing or two Mr. 'Big Cheese'. The two undead make their way to keep Dante back, but a fist to their face sent it exploding to a million pieces much like Leon's powerful kicks.

Sadly, the devil didn't have the chance to make his way over to the big guy, he found himself passed out on the floor due to a tranquilizer dart; make that multiple darts into his neck. Which was a fuggin' cheap move, honestly, Tranqs? Hey, the head cheese knew Dante wasn't able to die by any kind of mortal wound, so they might as well abandon his body here and keep him occupied with the rest of the Ganados and making sure there's no means of escape for the devil.

Dante's not really much of their concern anyway; it's the human agent accompanying the devil that they wish to test around with. For now, they'll have to take care of the two humans and transfer them somewhere else, leaving Dante on his own.

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_A-N Doomy Here!_

_Yeah, lots of people here are pretty confused with the way I'm writing the fanfic. xD;;_

_Sorry guys, there's a lot of humor in it along with my input in the story, but it's all just a gaggish fic. Nothing too serious in itself but has the potential to be, ya know? Let's hope people continue to read the fic. o.o;;;_

_Read and Review like always, cause how am I supposed to know if you wish me to continue or not (:_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Surprise Sex**

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The sound of footsteps and talking woke Leon up, he was feeling rather light-headed at the moment and could vaguely make out what he is seeing. Saddler was talking, talking about what? He couldn't really focus on what they were saying, but it was something along the lines of Ashley. No, he had to save her, he had to save the poor girl, but seeing that he's in this state at the moment … He felt something sharp poke at his neck. It didn't hurt him since he didn't notice it at first, but when he realized he was injected, he wanted to scream, he wanted to slash at the ganado nearest him, shove grenades in their mouth and watch as they explode, he wanted to kill them all, in any kind of way, he just seemed to not have the energy to do anything … He passed out no sooner.

A pang of pain was met when he awoke once again. How long was he out? Minutes? Hours? Time was precious, he had to save Ashley, but being in the state he was in, it would prove to be rather difficult. Well, let's see what his position is so far. Okay, he's tied up, unable to set himself free, he just got injected with a strange liquid, and has one helluva pent up rage. Honestly, next person he sees he's going bash their face in. Ah! There's Luis, he'll be his first victim!

"Luis?" Leon questions and Luis's attention was brought over to the other human. "Any idea what they have planned for us?"

"Oh, maybe a painful execution, it's what I've been thinking myself." Luis chuckles.

Leon introduces himself, explaining everything about how he was working for the government, how he used to be a rookie cop for Racoon City who had to encounter hordes of zombies, how he was on a mission to save Ashley and how he needed to get to her right away. Luis nods all along; the two have their conversations rather buddy-like until Luis starts to mention something along the lines of Dante.

"Is he your partner?" Luis asks. Leon scoffs and says he was just some idiot who got lost. Honestly, it was pretty much finding and helping a lost dog. Dante was a mutt who just so happened to get attached to Leon is all, which is a good thing since Leon could always send that mutt to do his dirty work. He didn't really think of him as a partner since he didn't want to think of Dante being an equal to him.

Cause c'mon! The guy was a freaking idiot and he almost drove Leon insane with rage with the way he acted! Luis suddenly wanted to drop the subject about Dante since Leon is fuming with furious fury right about now. That's weird, Leon didn't like the guy? Luis thought for sure that they were, well … Eh, whatever.

"Hey, if you don't want him, I'll have him." Luis chuckles and if Leon could, he'd give Luis a freakin' death glare. Was he jealous? Was he angry that there could be competition?! No, he just didn't want to see his slave working with another person.

Their nice conversation however gets cut off short when a ganado with an axe suddenly appeared. Aw Damnit, those guys sure know when to ruin a moment, eh? C'mon, Leon and Luis have just started to get conversation going! Leon has finally found a person he'd rather talk to than to want to bash someone's face in all day or shoot the shit out of them or sick Dante at them! Well, the two start to struggle at the moment when the ganado lifted his axe.

DAMNIT. Hey, why not use the axe to set yourself free? And that was exactly what Leon was thinking. Lucky for him, Luis was thinking the same way and before they know it, the ganado with the axe cut the chains off of them, freeing them from their immobile state and was slammed hard against the wall with a nice kick from Leon. During this time, the Spaniard has already left the building, running away frantically. Damn you Luis, stick around with Leon a bit, eh? He needs someone to talk to! Get the fuck back here! Don't leave him alone in this scary place! Eh oh well. He gets up, dusts himself free and gets yet, another transmission from Hunnigan.

When that was over with, he sets his mission in finding that church that Ashley seems to be in, but first, he'll walk over to Mr. Nice and Friendly merchant here. Which, he notices is a bit too greedy for Leon's taste and wasn't much fun to talk to. So were the other Ganados that he just so happened to encounter as soon as he left the gates.

Looking at the corner of his eyes, he can see a door etched with a marking and you know what that means: Find the key! So on goes our little Leon, killing Ganados after Ganados, running his sexy ass to open the chests and grab the treasure that will be his way out! See that? Leon doesn't need Dante at all! Nope, Nope! He's perfectly fine going solo! Dante is stealing his spotlight, Damnit!

But that naturally got him thinking about Dante right now. Yeah, he opened the lock door, walked a bit more and met with some more enemies to fight, but all along on his mind he could think of nothing but Dante.

Even when he made it far enough to encounter that Big Cheese guy who confused Leon greatly by saying they had the 'same blood' did Leon still think about Dante. Of course, his thoughts on Dante had to momentarily pause as he goes and kicks some ass from time to time … but still.

Okay, so maybe the idiot wasn't THAT bad. Maybe he was kind of fun to be with, if you consider killing Ganados fun, which it is and Leon just won't admit it. Admit it Leon, admit it! Even though they are humanish and can talk and all that crap, it doesn't mean they're human!

You KNOW you enjoy killing them! Just face it! You've been entranced by bloodlust! Leon says that he's not, but seeing that he's practically massacred everyone he's passed in every area proves him wrong. Damnit, what the hell is wrong with him? Dante is influencing him too much.

Dante was always laughing, always smiling, having fun as he sliced and diced at the bodies. Leon at first thought it was just sick. That it wasn't right; that Dante shouldn't be having this much fun. But I guess it rubbed off on him, cause Leon is awaiting more enemies to kill, but to his damned dismay, there are none left.

He makes his way past the catwalk and into a huge area where there are three small huts with some ammunition and herbs stuffed inside. The loud growl was heard from the huge wall, but Leon didn't think of waiting to find out what was inside. He opened yet another door to be encountered by yet, some more Ganados. Damn, they're just everywhere aren't they? They sure do multiply like bunnies. They smell pretty bad too. Okay, they're inside a town, inside houses, they're in cemeteries, farms, barns, etc.

They're like annoying insects that like to poke at Leon with sharp objects and try to bite at him.

So of course, not wanting to waste anymore ammo, Leon just runs his way through the water, kicking zombies to and fro and finally coming across a ledge of the cliff where it was just his luck to find a police officer getting eaten by some bigass salamander. Ah, this is just fuggin' great…

There is no choice left afterall and Ashley's life is in danger as every minute passes. And I guess helping those in need was enough to motivate Leon, either that or he really wasn't fond of being stuck here and just wants to get the job done so he can go home and do whatever it is he does there. I wonder if Leon lives alone? Well, of course he does, he's a bachelor afterall and what he does in his free time is a mystery. Maybe he plays ping-pong on his free time? But enough about that. The human jumps on the boat and revs the engine, hoping to make it to the other side without "Del Lago" finding out.

Of course, it was inevitable that he just so happened to come across this monster and of course, what even sucks more than ever is that there's no way of trying to ride the little boat away since the anchor was caught onto the monster. You have such a great knack of getting into deeper shit don't you Leon?

But knowing he had no way to escape, he might as well prepare for battle. And prepare he shall! There he goes, harpooning the SHIT out of Del Lago and causing the monster's health to decrease each time. Leon gets scared shitless however whenever he fell out of the boat, cause c'mon, as if the large body of water filled with the dead wasn't scary enough, you have a giantass salamander swimming up behind you to eat you whole. Something like that is usually not a good thing. But Leon is lucky enough to make it on the boat on time instead of ending up being Del Lago's snack or dessert, whichever Leon categorizes in. Mmmm, Leon Dessert. With whip cream smeared all over his naked body and Dante's tongue running all over his flesh… Oh wait, yeah, he's still fighting the ugly piece of shit.

It didn't take long for Del Lago to die, though Leon was badly hurt due to falling in the water a few times. And as if things couldn't get worse, his leg was caught on the rope that had stuck onto the dying monster, gradually dragging Leon.

"Shit!" The human desperately cuts himself free, slashing onto the ropes not caring if he even ends up slashing his whole leg to get free!

He had to get out! But his hands were all wet and slippery and everything was basically distracting him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the fuck out! Before he knew it, he was pulled down into the water by the fat thing, and it was impossible to swim out of it, not with the tremendous weight that Del Lago was packin'.

He's given up hope by now, he had held his breath, but knew that he would run out of air soon. But that wasn't what worried him. His body has gone well over 30 feet deep right now, the water pressure giving him a headache, squeezing him and he knew that hope was now gone. When someone stays down too long, swims too deep, or comes up too fast, they can end up with a condition called "the bends." In this case, bubbles of gas in the blood can cause intense pain; even death. Leon knew this fact, and he's decided to close his eyes, and await death. He's failed his journey to save a life. He's hopeless now and he can't ignore the pain in his lungs any longer. He's getting tired now and everything around him is silent. But yet, he feels something tugging on him, but he dared not open his eyes. He didn't want to see the dead or anything of the sort. He didn't want to see them in his thoughts or as his last vision. As he closed his eyes, his last thoughts were of Dante, he wanted a serene, happy thought right before he died and thinking of Dante sure was helping.

Before he knew it, he was cut loose and could feel himself being pulled up onto the surface slowly; someone was helping him, someone was saving him. But who? His eyes have betrayed him at the moment since his vision had pretty much taken the worse due to almost passing out, but the last sight he saw was a man who was glowing like an angel. He immediately came to recognize that it was Dante, he knew that face anywhere, hell, he knew that HAIR anywhere. He's saving him, he's rescuing, and he is now Leon's savior. He is Leon's hero, an angel, a guardian, someone who he can recognize as his protector. Someone who is more than just a slave that Leon could use, Dante was someone who was an equal now instead of an idiot.

Leon passed out soon after.

The blonde's body was gently put onto the boat and when his body wasn't moving, Dante couldn't help but panic. Shit, shitty, shit, shit, SHIT. Did Leon die on him?! Dante's like, panicking at the moment, until he found out that he should immediately give CPR! Yeah, that could work! Dante has no idea how to give CPR, he's unlicensed and had never had these kinds of issues. But time's a wastin' and Dante had to do something quick! He lays Leon flat on floor, tilts the human's head back and of course, started to give him Mouth-to-Mouth resuscitation. Breathe Leon, Breathe! He did it again, and again, getting pretty perverted at how SOFT Leon's lips were. Oh man, stop being a dumbass Dante, your friend is dying here! You can admire how cute he looks later!

Well, all thoughts were gone when Leon suddenly coughed water all over Dante's face who kind of flinched in surprise. Holy shit, it worked. And Dante doesn't even have a license to do this! Once Leon stopped coughing and was finally breathing normally, the demon couldn't help but feel so overjoyed. Dante smiles and starts the boat, maneuvering it across the island over to where a small house was built. By now, Leon was asleep which was good because the devil-slayer wasn't in the mood to deal with his criticisms. Instead, he laid Leon on the small bed inside the house and sat there, waiting for the human to wake up. Leon sure was a fragile thing, without Dante's help, Leon would have drowned for sure…

"You sure know how to get yourself in trouble." Dante says, admiring Leon's features more clearly and closer now since the human is sleeping and unable to do anything about Dante's staring. His hands once again, reach Leon's face and he's just basically overwhelmed by the man's beauty. He's so distant and seemed to be the person that would want to get the job over with as soon as possible, Leon was so serious at times; it's kind of hard to imagine that he could look so cute and innocent when he's not annoyed or pissed off at Dante about something.

Just like Leon, Dante couldn't help but think about the human all the while he was separated from him. He worried about the human, wondered what horrible things they were going to do to him. Only thing he found however was that Leon had been given a shot and that he was strangled just recently. A shot? What kind of shot? What the hell did they do to him?

Hours passed and Leon was still asleep, he seemed to have slept peacefully so Dante didn't manage to want to wake him up or touch him or do anything to him just yet. He'll get some fun out of him once he wakes up. However, the human was now mumbling things that seemed to be incoherent to Dante's ears, he was thrashing his head side to side as if he was having a nightmare. He sat up and he would have screamed in fright if it weren't for Dante hushing him, if it wasn't for Dante holding him, comforting him, HIS HANDS ALL OVER HIM? What the bloody hell?!?

"Ah, Sleeping Beauty is awake." Dante chuckles, hugging Leon from behind and saying how glad he was to know that Leon is alive. How the fuck did he get on the bed? All the while, Leon is struggling to get free, pushing Dante's face away from him and everything. What the fuck?

"Now is that any way to treat the person who saved your life?" Leon stops struggling in Dante's embrace and sighs, understanding that the idiot was right. Smirking to himself, Dante moves his hands up and down Leon's sides to calm him down and to well, get some good feels while he was at it too. He brushes a sensitive nipple and Leon gasps at the sudden touch. Why was Dante doing this to him?

"I'm not ganna bite'cha." The devil whispered in Leon's ear, licking and nibbling on his ear as his finger pinches one of Leon's nipples, earning a delicious moan on Leon's part. Seriously, just a slight little moan like that was starting to make Dante's pants tighten. Wow, who knew Leon had the power to do something like that. Seriously, it sent shivers down the devil-slayer's back at how much the human had affected him. At how much Dante wanted him, ached for him. He met hotter girls in his life but he never pounced on them or had this urgent feeling of want and need. Somehow Leon did this to him and Dante didn't like it.

Leon doesn't even know why he, himself, is letting Dante touch him. Letting the man kiss his flesh now, leave loving bites, hell, even kiss him. He let Dante kiss him just now, Leon's lips soft and damned bitable, the taste of his mouth delicious and sweet, his tongue against Dante's hot and juicy. They kissed like they wanted to kiss eachother for years, desperation hinted at the kiss, hunger, lust, a fire of passion that basically burned throughout their bodies. Heh, who would have known that Leon was this easy? But then again, the blonde does have high standards … But that didn't matter, what mattered was right now. And right now, Leon isn't fighting back, hell, he didn't put up much of a fight to begin with. How disappointing.

Still kissing the man, Dante gently pins Leon down on the bed. He didn't want to get rough with Leon, he had just saved him, his body is still probably aching from all that water pressure. But Leon is a strong man so he'll pull through it. The kiss was cut off and Dante allowed Leon the chance to breathe, a chance to catch his breath as he pants heavily, blushing so red and dizzy from all the sudden occurrences. Dante couldn't help but think Leon looked so cute. That's what started all this Leon, you and your damned cuteness was the cause of all this.

"Dante," Leon says, still trying to catch his breath. His hands reached up to touch Dante's face, his gray eyes gazing up at Dante's blue ones, Leon's eyes, serene and angelic. Well, they WERE serene and angelic, until he pretty much smacks the devil-slayer upside the head, kicking him the hell off of him and accusing him of rape. Okay, what the hell?

"Look princess! It's not rape! It's surprise sex!!"

Hell of a way to end a partnership. And hell of a way to get rid of Dante's horniness.

Damnit Leon …

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A-N Doomy Here!

WEEE, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

OMFG, I finally freakin' uploaded this thing. I hope this chapter came out alright. Damnit Leon, why can't you just give in and let Dante rape you?! And I loved that whole excuse of, 'it's not rape, it's surprise sex!' that Dante used, eheheh.

I wanted a sex scene, but thought, eh, too tired to type it up. It's nearly 4am now and I gatta pick my cousin up from the airport in 2 hours. Ecccck, I din even get any sleep! But hey, at least Dante got a little bit of a reward. Maybe next time he'll get some ass for sure.

YOU CAN DO IT, DANTE!!

Wow, I'm really hyped up on making art of these two. Maybe I'll send a couple of pictures to show you guys the next time I update.

So I'll see ya there!! Read and Review my lovelies!

I'll love ya forever if ya do!! xD


	5. Chapter 5

AUTHORS NOTE:  
Okay I'm soooooooo sorry I haven't updated for like YEARS.

I've made this story AGES ago.

It was supposed to be a Crack Fic with a Crack Pairing.

**But if you guys are still interested in this, please visit the manga version of it: **

www. LeonMayCry. Smackjeeves. Com

(SRRY! There's spacing in it, Fanfiction doesn't like links in their stories apparently.)

I've been working on this comic regularly and it is still very active. So please take a visit!

I might continue this fanfic and re-write all of it since it's so very old and I still love this cross-over pairing very much. And I figured I'm better at making a silly comic rather than writing a silly story. xD


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